Facing an eye surgery next month...

Yesterday was Decision Day. I made my decision for the doc to operate on my left eye cornea. (Cornea is the clear transparent window at the front of the eye, and allows light to enter the eye.)

Operation DAte: 27 June 2006.

Two years back, I had been wearing contact lenses, and due to their uncleanliness, my left eye contracted infection, and that caused my eye to be cloudy. ( In short, my pupil turned totally white.) I had to be warded for 4 days, and my eye healed by itself progressively.

8 months before, my doc suggested the option of surgery, at that time, my eye stopped healing. What remains now is a big white scar at my cornea, where I have partially clear vision, and everything I see is in double images. (Think as if like looking at an object, and there's a shadow behind.)

Last month, my doc asked me to decide with the surgery or not. But due to busy events going on, the matter was pushed aside. My intepretation of the doc's explanation is that the damaged area is at the surface area, and didn't go all the way thru the nerve of the eye. My case is like that, having the scar at the surface area only. Since I am also young, I should be able to recover quite quickly. (based on my healing process, I had recovered quite early.)

He stressed that IF the scar touches the nerve of the eye, he had to cut all the way and this is considered very risky. Even he is afraid of the rejection of the person.

I had a consultation yesterday. This time my mom was present. When I met the doc today, he was accompanied by the other doc, who examined my eye.

my doc, lets call him Dr. J.T. He asked me whether I agreed. I said ok. He proceeded to fill out the necessary forms.

J.T explained that in the WORST SENARIO, if my cornea falls apart, J.T gotta cut thru the whole cornea and replace the whole thingy with a donated cornea. (Let me stress on this, I heard this explanation for the FIRST TIME)

By then, my heart just dropped. I had a bad feeling about this. I could tell my mom got scared.

After that, I got ot do 2 more tests. First one is to take photographs of my eyes. and the second one; to take measurements.

Before I went in the room, my mom consulted with a nurse who accompanied J.T. she told my mom in more detail. It is a MAJOR OP and considered very risky.

After the 2 tests, a nurse consulted us and told us in details...

What we are scared the most is the rejection. It matters the most whether your body can accept the donated cornea layer. If there is any complications, you must report to us immediately. you think if there is any headache or sudden worsening of vision. Usually, the graft survival (donated cornea layer) depends heavily on the early detection of the graft rejection.

My enthusiasm dropped even further. Frankly speaking, I dun think I could handle any more shocks for the day.
Discouraging, yes, but 100% honest explanation. It mentally prepared me what's the future gonna be like.

My mom got sick. By then, she shivered due to the air-con.

I had to see another assistant to hear detailed explanation of the ESTIMATED costs...

By the time I finished, we ate dinner and went home.. My mom by then got full blown fever and had her deserved rest.

She didn't tell me that she got it in the morning. she kept quiet cox she wanted to accompany me.

Key issues here (mom's point of view):

1) the danger of rejection. Whether my body can accept the donated cornea layer or not. the constant fear of having a rejection for the rest of your life. and the case of full term medication.

2) the risks involved. the possibility of replacing the whole pupil DURING the surgery.

3) whether the person's donated cornea layer (he/she had passed away) agreed. I heard ghost stories here...
I am not inclined to disclose here...

4) the caution and the length of protection that I had to undertake after the surgery.


My point of view:

1) I am WIlling to do it. I am Aware of the risks involved.

2) the surgery represented a hope for me. I certainly dun want to spend my life looking at things now..

3) Why not? my eye had been like this already. It had reached the last stage of the healing process. Why not try another option??


Guys, I am trying to make a big decision here. Hope you can advise.... Thank u.

post b'day... saturday..

Sadly on the day itself, I didn't make any plans to go out or to hang out with friends..

I woke up to the sound of sms... Gary.

HE wrote the entire b'day song in a sms.. wishing me to be happy always and keep smiling!! They tot that I surely will go out.. but anyway, i didn't. Watched Tv the whole day, surfed the Internet the whole day, and just ate.

Frankly speaking, I wanted to go out and meet Gary, Millie, Helen, Intan, Hajjar, Hanrong, Helen, Steven and the rest of the whole gang. But they told me they were going over to a friend's house to do a hand-made photo album.. So, I resisted the urge to invite them out. After all, they had their own plans. I shldn't disturb them.

I missed seeing them... if my b'day was like a surprise like Hanrong's calling all the old friends and turning up unannounced, i will never forget it. But tooo bad.. it doesn't happen. Only in my dreams.

But anyway, Today I went to 4PM.. It was raining pretty heavily for a start. Thus, the rest was delayed. I was the first one to reach 4PM. Actually there were other people whom I didn't recognise in 4PM as well. I just sat in a classroom, and then proceeded to eat my lunch. Again had to eat the medicine. Yuck! Yuck!

Aden arrived and we exchanged greetings..

"Happy Birthday.. Belated." she mentioned.

Hashim arrived and the three of us, Me, Azahar and Hashim planned which content for each of us to teach. Haha.. I was the only one who wrote a lot of notes.. the rest didn't prepare anything.

The lesson started as usual.. and being the first time for physical activity, the response and the willing attitude to play was the highlight of the lesson.

Next, We held a surprise party for the mothers, since tml is a Mothers' day. We got the children to sing the mother's day song. The sight of the children running to their mothers and hugging them made me broke into a smile. You rarely see this kind of thing.

We sang the birthday song.. haha.. and Boy told the rest that we had a couple of birthdays.. yesterday and next sat..

I was like... who is that??

Boy pointed me and Mamat out.. and They sang the birthday song for both of us.. I felt a bit paiseh.. though.. again, this lifted my spirits even higher.

After eating the cakes, we proceeded to do the parent-child activity. Stringing beads together in sequence.

Had the usual singing part and had a v short debrief.

That's it..

Kak Saadah was surprised and noticed the change of hairstyle pretty quickly.

'Hey.. you changed your hairstlye.'

'Yup.. I look chubby right?' and pressed my cheeks.

'No lah.. it was cute..'

We straightaway went to Eunos CC for our LYF session.. Dropped by at the nearby hawker centre for lunch.. Me and Diana went ahead to prepare the classrooms, tidying up and whatsoever.

post b'day...

Saturday. The day after my 22nd b'day. Hmm.. the saying is right: the moment you pass 21, time flies very quickly.

Let me start on Thursday. Was stressed after work. Went to the post office to register an article. At Macpherson post office. Luckily I went off at 4.30.. it closes at 5...

Went straight to Bugis for class.. Come to think of it, was quite surprised all the buses arrived at the same time. Alighted from a bus, and then boarded another.

Arrived at Bugs ard 5... went ahead to window shop for a while and wanted to buy a cap to cover my new hairstyle. My new hairstyle? GOsh... it highlighted my slightly plump cheeks. I choose a Japanese hairstyle and the retouched the base with colour again.

Went to The Edge for my usual shopping trip. then headed to Seiyu...

Bored out of my wits, went to class. When I reached there, I tot class was cancelled. It was 6.30 when Inshirah came in.. Saying Happy Birthday before sitting down. Then people started rushing in.. Kak Tuty, having to bring a lot of things, the photocopied books and the usual course notes.

She was fed up carrying all the things and brought a pretty unique paper bag to my attention.

'nah.. this is for you.'

Inshirah was like Wat?? you got to give the present at the accurate time. But the paper bag stayed where it was.

We watched the video while waiting for the pizza from Canadian Pizzas to arrive. Haha.. my birthday dinner with the class.

Sadly, my migraine started again.. Took a cup of hot water and tried to swallow the while pill. Bad mistake. It dissolved the moment it mixed with the hot water.

Juliah asked Kak Tuty for the present.. and was totally shocked when she told her that it was already been given to me. Juliah took it back..

And I had to taste the ridiculously bitter and medicinal taste. YUCK!!

Inshirah asked me..' Are you sick?'

' Yup.. My head throbs...'

The pizza came.. and we immediately went for our break. Some of them prayed, while Kak Tuty and me cut the pizzas.

We straightaway ate them.. yummy! Then Juliah gave me the present.. I read the card.. my spirits just lifted up..

There's this effect of reading a b'day card... so nice of them!!

All of them were asking me to open up the present.. Kak Tuty asked me to just tear the wrapping paper away. When I finally revealed the present, it was Water Kenzo Perfume!!

I was just bowled away.. coz it neva occurred to me that they would buy this.

Frankly speaking, I had been using this pefume and still like the scent.. and what they gave me is a Bigger Version of the perfume... haha..

Anyway, Nan also gave me another present.. woah.. I opened it up.. another Perfume!! THis time around, it was a frutiy smell. I like!!

I continued eating.. Juliah suddenly pointed out that they haven't sung the birthday song.. Coz we were all soo busy eating the pizzas. They started singing the birthday song... and I just broke into a smile. the feeling is just pleasurable and unforgettable.

We resumed the lesson again... It was a wonderful b'day present for me...

continuation.....

After I came back home, I rested for a while. But my work is not done yet. I haf yet to prepare for the upcoming 3M session for tomorrow. After 20 mins of deserved rest, I began to search for that yellow file. I searched. and searched again.

Panic came in... I remembered I put it inside the black bag I was carrying at that time. I even called up Shafiq P, and he confirmed my memory.

~10 minutes later~

Darn it. Argh.. forget it. Might as well solve the problem facing me now. How to contribute?? What can I do now?

I looked at the purple notebook. I jotted down some notes during the observation lesson I attended with Diana. Ok. I just have to rewrite my notes. That's the best I could do. And I will do it tomorrow.

The next day, I woke up. Gosh... it's been a long time since I slept that late on a Sat morn. I must make more free time for me more often.

Did the usual routine things and focussed on my pending work. Since I am a Accountant... *ahem* I gotta prepare sum docs b4 putting all those cheques into the bank.. muahaha...

Then I focussed on 3M work. I wrote down all those points. Then I applied an idea which I had been playing around in my mind. Tips or different methods to teach Children maths.

Well, at least if Hashim and Azahar did use those points, then I got the tips to back up on. I have a hunch that it will happen.

I went to SQI, bac to my old office in NP. By the time I stepped in, Iris told me that those cheques were ready. I sat down, checked all those cheques, and prepared mine for banking. Woohooo.. they will process it by Tues...

Anyway, I went straight to Eunos CC, where we usually hold the 3M sessions, the parents and the children. I told Asryna that I might be coming late, coz I estimated I be leaving out of the office by 1 plus....

Again, I overestimated the journey time. By the time I took the bus 52 to CLementi MRT, it was pouring. I couldn't remember the journey. Blasting the music out loud, I read a book that I always brought with me. By the time i stepped my foot inside the room, it was exactly 2.30 pm. Gee.. Not late I guess. Just Punctual... duh..

All of us crowded together to discuss on what we wanted to touch on about. I spoke up, telling them that I misplaced my file, but I did make my own notes about it. What I really needed to do was to make sure that my own notes tallied with the rest. Diana looked through it, and pointed out they were the same.

THe lesson started, with Hashim going through the notes. As time passed, he went through the notes, and spoke about the key points. But they were written down in my own notes. So the moment they talked about it, I had no choice but to use other key points that they didn't use. In the end, ALL of them were used.

I had an uneasy feeling. To me, I wanted to contribute to the lesson. But I couldn't just repeat what they said earlier. So my hunch was correct. The only thing to do was to use my idea. When nearing the end of the lesson, I brought my tips along. Hashim knew what I wanted to do and suggested me to recap the whole lesson. Thanks to him, I did manage to do that. And I spoke about the tips.

Diana and HAshim had to go early, and did not attend the briefing. We finished the session as usual, and headed back to 4PM. I rested for a while and headed into the meeting room to post all those cheques. All those cheques were confidential. They present the financial status of SQI International Pte Ltd.

I wrote the trainers' addresses, before I heard peeps bellowing out..

'Debrief!! Debrief!!' Fadzly found me packing my things and knocked on the door, motioning me to hurry up.



I rushed into the Staff's room, and they were all sitting around. I leant against the table. Briefing started...

It was fun though, the briefing. There's lots of fun, and laughter. We zeroed in to the keypoints and made suggestions to improve the session.

We shared and read out the feedback forms from the parents. We received a lot of good feedbacks though, and Hashim's name was highlighted in some of the forms though, thus giving us the impression that he is a good trainer.

I agree with them. Hashim IS a good trainer, having all those experiences and ideas that he shared with the parents, had his own way to connect to the audience... but most of all, he is fluent in Malay. It is an asset for him coz me and Azahar couldn't speak Malay as well as him.

Of course the rest of us were highlighted as well. After all those feedback, Boy was interested in joining the next phrase.

I pointed out that if you want to teach the parents, then you must be fluent in Malay. Coz both me and Azahar did struggle to speak in malay.

Azahar feedback to them on what we did. But I haf to give credit to Azahar. His style of teaching is to use practical questions and from there he reinforced those keypoints. But I sincerely hope that all of us will do our part and prepare for the next session. Blow the parents away!!

Friday night.... 28/4/2006

wow... come to think of it, i had been busy doing several things at the same time.

Last friday is my night class exam. Certificate of Early Childhood Education. Exam of Module 2, Child development.

For your info, Nan, my lecturer for my class, helped us so much. She gave us the exact question papers and made time for us to run through the qns.

but then again, we cannot just memorise the answers. We need to read thru the course notes for further understanding.

I started revising for the exam about four weeks ago. Started by reading the information related to the questions. I always have 1.5 hours of journey time to kill before arriving at work in Aljunied, so I made sure i read the notes which I selected for my daily morning reading.

Frankly speaking, I wasn't sure whether my mind could absorb all those key points just by reading. During one of the weekends, I tested my knowledge by doing the questions. I realised that i couldn't answer the essay qns. I made a mind-mapping of the answers in colours. (haha.. when my classmates spotted it, they were seriously FREAKED out. They looked at it by the whole picture, and its kinda confusing for them. And they told me to put it away...) I just kept on laughing after seeing their reactions.. heehee.. so bad of me...

After that newly discovered flaw, i practised my answers repeatedly. With the answers and the question kept in view, I eventually saw the link between the answers and the questions. The more I practised writing for the questions, the more i saw and understood the link.

I tried to help out my classmates who tried their best to study for the exams. Expecially Lily. She was really stressed out on the day itself. She couldn't remember the answers for the questions, so I suggested to her that she practise the answers like me.

She replied back later that she still couldn't remember. I advised her to write the answers with the previous answers and the questions in view. TI told her what I discovered.

2 hours later, she STILL told me she hadn't got it. Then I told her that she need a break. She was too stressed!

During the exam, I could see her writing her draft answers. the moment she finished and left the exam room before me, i felt the satisfaction of helping her.

After the exam, me, Kak Tuty with her husband, Juliah, Kak Khatijah, Julita came to the hawker centre for the planned makan session.

We ordered some dishes.. mee goreng thai, mee siam goreng, murtabak, roti john cheese and mushroom. The roti john cheese and mushroom tasted surprisingly good. I never regretted eating it. We chatted a lot, about the future assignments >_____< and others. Finally we went home, with our stomachs full and wanting to rest.